I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
