my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
