You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
