I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
