just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
