Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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