I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
