So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
