ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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