GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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