That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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