Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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