I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
