And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
