i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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