your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
