He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
