I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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