a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
