Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
