Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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