Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
