You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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