please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
