oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
