It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
