just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
