Yo dont text me then not text me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
