So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
