I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
