the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
They took my balls.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
