let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
