he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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