my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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