Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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