I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
