well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
