so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
