Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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