Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
