The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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