There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
