I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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