My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
nutella sex= disaster
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't deserve a penis
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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