Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
