It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
