My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
