I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
