So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
