I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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