if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
