I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
