Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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