After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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